MFA, Boston;

Security Officer - 1

You are holding a map, just read the fucking map. I’m sorry, it is in English but we don’t have any printed in Arrogant Douchanese. Oh, you got me, it isn’t really that way, I’m just lying to you about where the “art” is because my life is as empty as yours. Oh, it was by the way you came in, was it? That clears that up! Good thing they only hire psychics as guards here! Well, did you get in here with a jet pack? Then the way you came in is not upstairs. Yes, thank you too. Rot in Hell now, okay? Fucker. All she needed to do is ask me if she could bring in a ladder and she would have been the perfect costumer. Let’s see; two hours and forty-three minutes. Shit, an hour ‘till it’s almost bearable. Man, I like ancient Egypt. Way chiller than all those other ancient civilizations; all fishing and drinkin’ brews. Not like the Greeks with the killing and the incest and the goose-fucking and the on-and-on. Just chillin’ and drinkin’ and tryin’ to live forever so you can chill and drink. They just don’t make religions like they used to anymore. . . It was swan-fucking wasn’t it, though. ‘Cept there was that dude who wanked the universe into being and then “made woman out of a bit of flesh from his hand.” What the fuck was that? And how can you have some bullshit like that and then have something as fucking awesome as it starting out as two pairs of snakes and two pairs of frogs each representing something necessary for life: sand, water, darkness and void? How awesome is that? Egypt was around for like a jillion years I guess. All kinds of time for weird shit to happen. Damn friend, how often do you need to change the batteries in those pants? And if you got into public wearing that, just how the hell did your little girl wind up in such an adorable dress? Yeah, that is not at all how that story goes, jackass. Poor kid. Oh well, someday she’ll grow up and fall in love with a drummer or something; that’ll learn ‘im. Sigh. “No fucking flash!” Can’t believe that kid actually said that. Well, yes I can actually; he was crazy. Probably still is, come to think of it. Getting fired doesn’t tend to make one less insane. Say, who’s that? Oh, she’s like 14. Hmm. It’s funny the way girls like that are beautiful. Not sexy, though I know a few who would argue. Beautiful more like trees are beautiful. Let’s see; two hours and thirty-six minutes. Goddamnit.